A sweet note.

In Saturdays mail I received a package. I didn't open it at first because I was busy and preoccupied. On Sunday my husband found it and asked what it was. When he opened it, we were blessed to find some adorable baby boy clothes. The gift was thoughtful, especially considering the giver, and the fact that we only know each other from blogging, but it was the note that had an even greater impact. It read:

Dear Jetta,

I don't know when I have been so excited about someone having a baby...especially someone I've never really met or officially "know." but I have watched you grow in so many ways over the past year as I have followed you on FB (what a crazy concept,huh?)I was out the other day and saw these and couldn't resist getting them for you.
You are an amazing woman and this little one will be truly blessed to have you as his mommy.
"...and the Lord remembered her, so in the course of time she conceived and gave birth to a son... 'because I asked the Lord for him' -1 Samuel 1:19b, 20b

Love you, Lena

Now for so many reasons - even now as I type it, these words move me to tears. The bible verse sends goosebumps up and down my body. You see, this note, from a "stranger" whom I adore came at the exact right moment in time. Not only was I looking for a Bible verse to stamp onto canvas for Gabriel's bedroom, but this note opened my eyes.

After 12 years of not being able to have kids (on our own)and finally letting go of that dream, this pregnancy was truly a shock. After so many losses, it was easier to assume this baby wouldn't stay - just like all the others. You see, this baby coming changes a lot of things. Some are tough, and in the midst of those scary changes, it was easier to "blame" someone, something, whatever, for this unexpected miracle. What 1 Samuel opened my heart to, is the fact that I have ALWAYS wanted a third baby. I was just too scared to own that desire because it felt selfish, because it was scary, because it was easier to have things stay just the way they were.

While I can't deny, that if we had our choice, we would have timed this differently. I can never ignore that the woman I am today is the woman that was created to be Gabriel's mommy. Just as Isaac and Hope had their perfect place in history, so does Gabriel, and as with everything, Gods timing isn't ours, but it is perfect.

Thank you Lena for listening to your heart. Your gift was more than I think you ever imagined it would be. It changed my life. Truly.

It's a....

BOY!!!!

Yay - he was so sweet! He had the hiccups almost the entire time. Chad and I had a hard time picking names - but before the ultrasound we decided on Gabriel Martin. Gabriel means "the Lord is my strength; and Martin is the name of Chad's uncle who passed away when Chad was 14.

We are thrilled, as are the kids.

Enjoy the pics!

Quiet moments - and an ultrasound update

First of all...

EPIC FAIL!!!

I am incredibly sorry. I dangled the ultrasound date a long time ago and then failed miserably to give you the news! WOW. If I were you - I would be furious. And then, of course I would promptly forgive the oversight (hint, hint.)

Since I have made you wait this long - what's a few more minutes??? Right? (Insert evil laugh...)

Thanksgiving morning I woke up extremely sentimental. Okay, maybe it was the hormones. Call it what you will, I was a crying, sobbing mess! My sweet husband brought me my coffee in bed and I sat for a long, long, long time reflecting on my life, my new baby and everything in between. I have so much to be thankful for, and at the same time, there is a lot that scares me just a little.

The thing that struck me the most was my kids. The coolest people I have ever had the privilege to know. I was thinking about each of them as individuals. I decided to call them up to chat with me. I am sure I probably scared them with all the crying I was doing, but I needed to make sure these things were said.

Isaac was first. He was so sweet - especially when he realized I was crying. He is a very sensitive boy, and immediately asked me why I was crying. I told him not to worry - that these were "happy" tears. I won't recite the whole speech, but I will tell you (as I told him) that my favorite trait of Isaac's is his compassion. He is always the first to run to another person who has fallen down to check on them. He always checks on his sister at school when she seems sad. Isaac always seems so in tune to when other people are hurting. I told Isaac that I love that about him, and that I hope he never changes.

Hope came up next. She is so different from Isaac. She didn't even notice I was crying. To be honest, at first I questioned whether she would understand or appreciate the words I had for her, but I couldn't let the moment pass, and I decided that even if she didn't totally "get it" - my heart needed to say these things....and so I did. My favorite trait of Hope's is her thoughtfulness. She is always thinking ahead and trying to anticipate what someone else might want or need. She always has the remote ready to hand to Isaac when he comes downstairs to watch TV in the mornings. She loves to color pictures for all of her friends at school. She is constantly trying to give her toys to other people. She ALWAYS wants to help. Her heart is so good. I told Hope that I love that about her, and that I hope she never changes.

For both kids, we talked about how Jesus also has compassion and thoughtfulness for everyone he meets. It was so sweet! They seemed generally amazed that they might have anything in common with Jesus.

These moments were precious to me. It may become a tradition for me. I truly find power in speaking words of affirmation to my kids even if they don't completely grasp all of the meaning. Their hearts know, and so does mine and that, is what being a mommy is all about.

Now... for the small person in my belly...

I am happy to say that I am currently growing a perfect, healthy, happy little baby - and that's about all I know. The ultrasound place messed up my appointment - so they had to "fit me in." Which means a typically hour long appointment lasted all of 23 minutes with a tech who wasn't interested in the fact that I really wanted to know the gender of my baby. We did however get a super cool profile picture which I successfully loaded onto Facebook, but can't seem to post on this blog.

Fortunately for us, we have the coolest Midwife ever, and she has ordered a follow up ultrasound (at a different location) - and that ultrasound is scheduled for this Wednesday, December 1st.

Happy holiday season to all of you - and here's to a baby who wants to show off it's private parts (just on Wednesday anyway...)

In case you were wondering...

I eat normal.

I have written about diet, weight loss and exercise for so long now. I get a lot of people asking me how I am handling my food now that I am pregnant.

I eat normal. I eat what everyone else is eating. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely had my cravings. The first trimester for sure was the worst. As gross as it sounds, all I wanted was McDonald's and chocolate ice cream. I had an pre-natal appointment at 10 weeks, and my midwife said the McDonald's had to stop. And so it did. Chocolate ice cream is a rarity anymore. In fact sweets in general just don't sound good. That is a blessing for sure. But, for now, I have let go of the chicken and heaps of veggies. I have stopped cooking entirely different meals for me from what my family eats. I don't pig out (although I am sure I have my moments...)

I still workout. My workouts look a lot different than before. No more hard core training sessions and 3 hour cardio workouts. These days, I am more likely to do 45 minutes on the treadmill followed by some weights and light core / ab work 3 to 5 times a week. I feel okay about that because I am working out about 300% more than I ever did when I was pregnant with Isaac.

The cool thing to me, is that I feel normal. I have managed to come to grips with the fact that I am going to gain weight growing this person - but I know how to lose it. I did it once...I can most definitely do it again. I know how to eat, and exercise. I know what it takes.

Rock Star (a shout out to moms)

Several months ago, my friend Alyssa and my sister Kara had a surprise party in my honor, to celebrate the fact that I had lost 100 pounds. I was so blessed by that night. Some of my favorite people came - and there were a few people whose attendance surprised me. Almost everyone brought gifts - which was another surprise - but hey! I am not complaining!!!
My mom gave me me one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received. It's a silver bracelet with stars and rhinestones. It's really pretty. When I opened it, she said she picked it so that whenever I look at it, I can be reminded that I am a rock star.
I haven't been wearing the bracelet much lately. To be honest, I haven't felt like much of a rock star. I found the bracelet this morning in my jewelry box, and this has been on my heart all morning. I wish I could give all of you a "rock star" bracelet. Especially you moms out there. Why? Simply put you ARE rock stars.

You sacrifice
You lose sleep
You run the house
You run the calendar
You run around

You love your kids
You love your honey
You love your friends
You love your God

You remember the parties
You remember the presents
You remember the date and time

You give your all
and then you give some more

Most of the time, you don't have time to remember that you are a rock star. Wouldn't it be nice to have something to remind you? The reality is, as much as we want them to, others won't always remember to notice how awesome we are; how much we do; how big we love. I think we all deserve to remember, that in Gods eyes especially, we do totally rock.

Just another belly picture.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Here is a picture of me at week 17. Everything seems to be going along just fine - which is of course still pretty astounding to me. Our ultrasound has been moved to the 19th of November, so the countdown has begun! I can't wait to find out who is in there!!!

I have been struggling with some hypoglycemia, mostly due to my struggle with not gaining too much weight - but my midwife and my counselor, and my friends and family (of course) are helping me through it.

I keep looking at all the blogs that have amazing decorating pictures like my cousin Lissa's, and wishing I was good at decorating. Our work on the nursery begins next weekend - and I am struggling with unique ideas. Thank goodness my husband has a better eye for stuff like that than I do!

It's so hard to believe that tomorrow is November 1st. If you ask me - the year is basically over. These last few weeks will be so busy and will go by so fast! Before we know it we will be struggling to write 2011 on our checks!

A maze, a game and then I crashed.

I have always been a woman on the go. Who isn't these days?? But ever since I got pregnant, I have HAD to slow down. I just can't cram quite as many things into a day as I used to. I NEED SLEEP. I love being home. I have never considered myself a homebody - but I sure am now.

As this last weekend approached, I found myself kind of dreading it. Literally, every single hour had something scheduled. I am not sure how this happened, but it did, and there was nothing I could do about it. Everything planned was fun - but there was just too much planned.

It started Friday with the annual banquet for my kids school. I had to leave early because I was falling asleep at my table.

Saturday, I was up at 6:00 and at the grocery store by 6:30. My son had football and then we headed north to Craven Farms for some pumpkin picking and a corn maze with our dearest friends The Jensen's. After getting soaked in the corn maze, we headed even farther north to The Jensen's house for dinner and a little Pinochle before making the 2 hour drive back home. WOW!

Sunday was similar, although it did start out with a transformer blowing and knocking out our power. That was fun! Then is was a 9:30am departure to get the kids to Auntie Shannon's so that Chad and I could enjoy a date. We watched our Seattle Seahawks kick the patootie out of the Arizona Cardinals. It was a great game (I have told you how I feel about football...) but it was cold and I was exhausted. After the game, we had dinner with Chad's parents one last time before they head to Arizona for the winter. We got home around 11. Ugh!

Needless to say - we were all exhausted. Chad forgot to set his alarm, I must have turned mine off. The only reason we woke up at all was because poor little Hope had a nightmare at 6:00am (I usually get up at 4:30). I promptly sent her back to bed; said a kind of bad word and then proceeded to run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

My saving grace?? A call from the kids school saying the power was out and school was delayed until 11:00.

I went back to bed.