A sweet note.

In Saturdays mail I received a package. I didn't open it at first because I was busy and preoccupied. On Sunday my husband found it and asked what it was. When he opened it, we were blessed to find some adorable baby boy clothes. The gift was thoughtful, especially considering the giver, and the fact that we only know each other from blogging, but it was the note that had an even greater impact. It read:

Dear Jetta,

I don't know when I have been so excited about someone having a baby...especially someone I've never really met or officially "know." but I have watched you grow in so many ways over the past year as I have followed you on FB (what a crazy concept,huh?)I was out the other day and saw these and couldn't resist getting them for you.
You are an amazing woman and this little one will be truly blessed to have you as his mommy.
"...and the Lord remembered her, so in the course of time she conceived and gave birth to a son... 'because I asked the Lord for him' -1 Samuel 1:19b, 20b

Love you, Lena

Now for so many reasons - even now as I type it, these words move me to tears. The bible verse sends goosebumps up and down my body. You see, this note, from a "stranger" whom I adore came at the exact right moment in time. Not only was I looking for a Bible verse to stamp onto canvas for Gabriel's bedroom, but this note opened my eyes.

After 12 years of not being able to have kids (on our own)and finally letting go of that dream, this pregnancy was truly a shock. After so many losses, it was easier to assume this baby wouldn't stay - just like all the others. You see, this baby coming changes a lot of things. Some are tough, and in the midst of those scary changes, it was easier to "blame" someone, something, whatever, for this unexpected miracle. What 1 Samuel opened my heart to, is the fact that I have ALWAYS wanted a third baby. I was just too scared to own that desire because it felt selfish, because it was scary, because it was easier to have things stay just the way they were.

While I can't deny, that if we had our choice, we would have timed this differently. I can never ignore that the woman I am today is the woman that was created to be Gabriel's mommy. Just as Isaac and Hope had their perfect place in history, so does Gabriel, and as with everything, Gods timing isn't ours, but it is perfect.

Thank you Lena for listening to your heart. Your gift was more than I think you ever imagined it would be. It changed my life. Truly.