Looking back - Looking ahead

Wow. It's been months, literally since my last post. I can't help but wonder if blogging would have been therapeutic these last few months of my pregnancy. SO much has happened. Too much for this post. It's been a scary start to 2011 - but the important thing remains, that Gabriel and I are still healthy and plugging along.

As I get closer to the end of my pregnancy - I can't help but start to think about the recovery time my body will need after this. I feel fortunate to have only gained a minimal amount of weight - although I am not yet ready to disclose that number...I do feel confident that what is left after delivery will be relatively easy to lose. I am however, also certain that the skin on my tummy will never be the same. This pregnancy was so different from Isaac's. This time I grew straight out - which had to have stretched my skin to the max. UGH!

As the "skinny" clothes on the other side of my closet taunt me - I can't help but be reminded of what it took to get to that place. Almost 2 years of extreme everything. Extreme exercise, extreme eating, extreme discipline... the reality is - with three kids and a full time job - there isn't going to be time for the extreme lifestyle I was living before. Let's face it, there isn't going to be time for much of anything. The part that surprises me the most, is that I am totally okay with that.

Sure, I want to get back to having a body I am happy and comfortable with. I think that body was the nice size 10 I was a few months before getting pregnant. I feel like size 10 made me look healthy. I was able to dress according to the trends, and more importantly I was able to participate in my life, play with my kids, do races with friends etc. I might not have had abs of steal, but I was healthy and fit enough to essentially do anything I wanted to. THAT'S the body I would like to get back. I don't need to be the size 8 or 6 I was killing myself to get to. From where I am standing now - I see the sacrifice it took to get there, and I am no longer willing to pay that price.

I consider myself blessed. My cost could have been much greater. I am fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends that love me without limits. I am blessed to have a husband who never didn't think I was sexy; and kids who were young enough to consider this an adventure. This pregnancy was probably the best intervention that could have been waged in my situation. Not only did it require me to make the appropriate changes to find a healthy balance to grow my baby, but in the span of 9 months - it brought all of my priorities back into focus.