While we were on our little get-away this weekend, I got to spend some time at the spa. This quiet time alone, gave me plenty of time for my mind to run wild. Fortunately, things didn't get too crazy in this little head of mine, instead I was able to stay fairly focused.
I spent most of the time thinking about my first counseling session - which is coming up on March 24th. Naturally, I am pretty nervous, but I am excited as well. I want to be healthy, not just thin. In my quiet, alone thinking time, here is what I thought about. When I was almost 300 pounds and essentially eating myself to death, how come no one suggested counseling then? Now they are nervous that I might exercise too much and get too thin, so I had better get some help? Seriously?? My issues with food have existed almost my whole life. All I have done now is traded one eating disorder for another.
I think it is easier to call obesity a medical issue rather than an eating disorder. To throw some medication at it and call it good. Here's the deal. If you eat to console, soothe or calm your nerves. If you eat because you are happy, sad or anxious - the reality is there is something going on inside that needs to be dealt with. You can ignore it if you want. I sure did. I have spent the last 18 months thinking that if I was determined enough, strong enough, stubborn enough, then I could win this battle. The truth is - I can win this battle, but I need help.
I wish I had started this part sooner.
What I want to say is...if you are overweight, and you are wanting to lose weight and get healthy, I know it's hard to get started. If the gym scares you and you aren't quite ready to count calories. Start here. Start with finding someone to talk to. Someone who can help you define you relationship with food. JUST START. Don't wait. I can practically guarantee - that if you can get this part started, the weight loss will follow.
Now, if you are a person who is like me and lost weight already, take a minute and be 100% real with yourself. In the privacy of your heart and mind. In the quiet of your home, examine your place in all of this. If you think you want help - just ask. If you are like me, you have invested time, energy and money into getting healthy. Finish strong - and make it count.
We can so do this!
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Love it ... the pieces are falling together and I'm so proud of your journey! I think the reason no one suggests counseling for overweight people is not knowing what might be "okay" or acceptable to offer as help (don't want to hurt feelings, etc.). Some people who struggle with weight may not believe they have an issue -- with food or otherwise ... but you've discovered through all this that the issues won't go away with losing the weight. They'll only go away with God's hand in healing your heart as you let go and allow Him to do His work in you.
ReplyDeleteKeep going girl. Love you,
A
Wonderful words, Thank YOU!
ReplyDeleteMikal
I LOVE YOU...you're an inspiration...THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about your first session. You are right about needing counseling and someone to open up to, especially someone who can give you answers.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore and finding that insecurity is the root of my food issues. She wrote a prayer in there that will tear down your walls and put you right in the arms of the Lord as you say it.