My first ever blog award! Yipee!!

Last week, Jenn at bridgetownbabymomma blessed my socks off by giving me my first ever blog award! I was totally surprised and to be honest it really came at the perfect time. I have been thinking a lot lately about not blogging anymore. I was starting to feel like my posts were just going off in to cyber land and no one was reading anymore. Is anyone out there?????

Receiving the award from Jenn not only made me realize that someone is reading, and that what I say does matter, but I also learned that even if only one person reads - I will still write.

I don't know much about blog awards - but from reading Jenn's post when she received hers, it looks like I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself you might not know and I need to nominate a few other blogs. So here goes...


1. My son was born at a free standing birth center with an independent midwife. I had no drugs - and I loved every second of it!

2. After Isaac was born, my midwife trained me to be her assistant, and I spent the next year and a half delivering babies with her.

3. In 2009, I delivered my nephew at my sisters house with the help of my brother in law. Well, I guess my sister helped a little bit too!

4. If I could go back in time and start all over, I would have gone to school to be a baby doctor.

5. If you can't tell by now... I love everything that has to do with pregnancy, and childbirth.

6. When I graduated from High School, I went to college at Seattle Pacific University. I didn't last long - but sometimes wish I had finished it out.

7. I started working at The Gap when I was 15 years old. I worked there until I was 21. Who can pass up that discount!?!?


Now for my awards... Here are a couple of gals that I make sure and read every time they have something to say. I LOVE these women. These blogs make me laugh, cry, soar... check them out when you can!


Holly: armstrongfamilychronicles.blogspot.com

Alyssa: www.seattledoulagirl.com/blog

Lena: bestillandknow-lena.blogspot.com

Martha: butterfliesdragonflies.blogspot.com

If I could say this in person, I would.

This is a post I have been running through my little brain for quite a while now. I get pretty fired up when I talk about it with my friends. I think it's really important to share this - so I decided it was time. I am however going to start with an apology.

I apologize in advance if this offends anyone, discourages anyone, or frustrates anyone. This is MY OPINION. It is something I have come to realize over the last several months. I hope you know by now - it is NEVER my heart to discourage anyone, I only want to help (great way to get started, don't you think??)

There are so many of us that are overweight. There are so many of us that are not healthy. Thin does not necessarily equal healthy. This post is meant for those of you who need to change your health. Whether you need to lose weight or you just need to eat better and exercise. Here is the one thing I have discovered in all my years of trying to lose weight and get healthy. Are you guys ready for this??? This is a HUGE discovery... Ready??? Wait for it....

Here it is:

You aren't going to do it until you are ready.

Mind blowing isn't it? So many of us know we need to. Someone has told us - our family, our friends, our doctor. Whether or not we acknowledge it - we see the need there too, but until we are ready - it's not gonna happen.

When I say "ready" I mean, give it your all "ready." Not gonna give up, not giving in, completely committed to the process "ready." If you aren't that kind of "ready" - I would almost say don't bother. Yo-Yo dieting is not good for you at all. Most of the time the end result of a partial attempt, is a few pounds gained.

Losing significant amounts of weight is a LIFE CHANGING EVENT. Do not underestimate the impact it will have on your life, your family, your perspective. It should not be taken lightly. The are emotional issues that need to be dealt with and to honestly do that you have to be ready and willing. There will be so many hard days - if you aren't committed with your whole heart, then what will keep you from quitting?

If you have ever struggled with your weight - you know....there is always a reason, an excuse. "I will start my diet on Monday..." When you are ready - the time will be NOW, not Monday.

I wish I had a different way to deliver this message. I wish I could say this in person. So much can be misinterpreted...but this is what I have. I have a blog. This is my method. This is my heart. I am going to click "publish post" and pray that God uses this post to reach the people whose hearts are open.

Once upon a time...

I had this friend. I had waited for this friend all my life. When I was little, I used to pray for a best friend like the friends you read about it books. Friends that can finish each others sentences, know exactly what you are thinking, tell you everything. I think we all know the kind of friend I am talking about...

In 2002, God answered my prayer and brought me my friend. It was perfect timing! I was pregnant with Isaac, she was almost done being pregnant with her first as well. We grew close quickly.

When my labor started she was the only person (besides the midwife) that we called.

When we found out about our daughter being available to adopt, she was the only person I called (besides Chad.)

When my son has a seizure on my living room floor, she was who we called.

My friend and I spent years together. Our kids became great friends. We laughed together, cried together, we did just about everything together.

There truly aren't enough adjectives to describe the great things about my friend. So many things that I admired. Still do.

As it sometimes goes, the season of our friendship came to an end. There is no one to blame. I have no hard feelings. The memories I have with her are sacred. I will never speak with anything but love for her. How could I? I had prayed for her. She was Gods provision to me in some miraculous times, some scary times and some plain old boring times.

I am not certain she knows the spot in my heart that she holds. I miss her - but I am confident in the paths we are both taking. I hope she knows that I wish only amazing things for her and her kids. I hope she knows that I know God will use her. There are so many things that I hope she knows - but mostly, I hope she knows...

I will never forget.

girl time heals the heart

In case you haven't noticed - by the extreme lack of anything worth writing about - I have been in somewhat of a funk lately. I am not really sure if it's the weight loss thing, the lack of sun, stress of work. Maybe all of the above. Anyway, I had the opportunity to spend an evening with 3 of my favorite people and let me tell you - it has renewed my strength. Brought back my determination.

These 3 women A-M-A-Z-E me. Here's why:

Kristin (the bombshell in the yellow dress): is a fairly new friend of mine, but let me tell you - I LOVE this girl. We sat down to dinner, and she wasted no time calling me on my crap. Now THAT's my kind of girl! I like women who are strong and honest and call it as they see it. Man did I need that! She put me in my place, but I know she loves me to pieces. Everyone needs someone like that in their life.

Debbie (the adorable gal with the contagious smile): is my quiet strength. She doesn't say much, except when it matters. I really respect that. When Debbie speaks, you listen because you know it matters. She is my fan 100% of the time, and I never worry about that. She is dependable, patient, brave and probably one of the strongest women I have ever met.

Alyssa (the amazing woman I lean on): Literally. I don't even know what to say about Alyssa without crying. Everything about Alyssa is comfortable. Two of my favorite memories with her involve taking naps. That speaks volumes.

If my sister had been here - the night would have been perfect.

The time with my friends was just what I needed. I think most women already know, that girl time heals the heart. It is truly restoring. Especially when you are blessed with gals who really "get" you. These ladies get me. They know me - they know my crap and they still love me. Now THAT is amazing!

Thanks ladies. I love you!

Absolute Clarity

There are three days in my life that I can recall with absolute clarity.

1. The day I gave birth to Isaac.

2. The day we picked Hope up.

3. The day I married Chad.

I was so calm that day. I had such a great night. It had been a long year - and now it was time. There was nothing left to do - but breathe and enjoy.

I loved my dress. I still do. The one thing I was worried about was my tendency to break out in hives when I was nervous. There were no hives.

We were 15 when Chad asked me to be his girlfriend. We were 18 when Chad proposed. We were 19 on our wedding day.

I was the only cousin in my family to be blessed with the presence of my Far Far (father's father in Swedish) at my wedding - and Chad and I were both blessed by the fact that Chad's cousin Asa was well enough to be in our wedding. Although Asa went home to be with Jesus a short time later - the pictures of him are treasured for sure!

Would I do anything differently? Sure. But really...why go there? Our story is what it was meant to be. Chad is who God selected for me. He made us match.

While there are only three days that I remember with such clarity and detail - there are few memories I have that don't include Chad.

Happy Anniversary. I love you. Meet me in Maui next year???

I feel like...

A fake.

A phony.

A liar.

A broken record.

Okay. I think I am being a little harsh on myself. I do, REALLY feel like a broken record. I want to write a inspirational, fist pumping, cheerleading post about getting hard core and getting this done. But I just wrote that post a couple weeks ago. Remember??? It resulted in me being transparent and posting my weight each Monday - which lasted oh...about 5 minutes.

I am having the hardest time. I gripe about this plateau that I am stuck in - and I am so ready to blame anyone and everything...except myself. My lack of weight loss is such a mystery... NOT! Here is what I realized:

I am not doing the work.

Here's how I discovered that. Thursday night - Chad and I were going to play racquetball, but we both got caught in horrible traffic so we missed our court time. My revised plan, was to get the kids packed for the beach cabin and then head to the gym after they went to bed. I used to be so good at this scenario - but last night - after the kids were in bed, I put on my pj's not my workout clothes...I think you get the drift.

As far as I can tell, at some point, my brain shifted into maintenance mode, but my body isn't there yet. I still work out and eat right - but my determination is gone. I started to wonder if maybe I am happy with how I look now. If maybe I don't want to lose any more weight. I spent our camping weekend pondering this. The answer I came up with??

No. I am not finished. Since I am not finished, I do need to do the work. These last 20 pounds are going to be the hardest to lose, but I will lose them.

If I start now and get "hardcore" I will be finished fast (relatively speaking) and I can live in this happy maintenance land that I have been visiting for the past several weeks.

It's time to get this done. I want to finish. I am not a quitter. I am however, a broken record. Sorry bout that....

the vintage pearl

I am borrowing the pictures in this post from the web site I am about to plug...the vintage pearl.
I try to keep my recommendations to a minimum. I think so far I have recommended ice cream and counseling. That's hilarious! Oh, and a Bodybugg...huh.

Anyway, for Mother's Day my hubby got me a gift certificate to the vintage pearl so that I could design my own necklace. I have waited (almost) patiently for it to arrive... it came in yesterdays mail. I don't have a camera with me and my cell phone camera did not do the necklace justice. I love my new necklace. I put it on immediately. It is replacing my diamond necklace - that's how much I love it.

Besides having an amazing product - I want to just say that the customer service is just as good as what they sell. I sent an email checking on my order (I said I was almost patient) and they were so timely and sweet in response. The necklace shipped right when it was supposed to and was adorably packaged.

Check them out...you won't be sorry!!!

www.thevintagepearl.com

Roller Coaster

I would like off please.

I am not sure I signed up for this roller coaster. I am actually afraid of roller coasters in general - so how in the world did I get here?

Didn't I just write a post about feeling happy and healthy? Let me check....yep! Sure did.

You know, when you are riding on a roller coaster and you go down a big hill, and your stomach literally drops to your knees? That is how I feel.

You know how, when you get off the ride, you face feels swollen and dry from the tears that the g-forces create? That is how I feel.

You guys... I feel so defeated today. So exhausted from this whole thing. Sometime I wonder if I might actually be done losing weight. Maybe my body is happy right where it is....but then I look in the mirror, or try on clothes, and I KNOW that I have more to lose. I feel like this is never going to end.

Stop the ride please.

Laundry...

My family and I went camping this last weekend. Those of you that know me - know that I am not much of a camper. I did not grow up camping. I grew up resorting. I am making an effort to camp because my husband LOVES it and because I want my kids to have both experiences.

So we loaded up on Friday... I swear - it looked like we were moving out! We traveled over the mountains to one of my all time favorite places - Lake Chelan. We were blessed with wonderful friends and beautiful weather. We had such a great time. To be honest - I am totally excited for our next camping trip. I can't believe it!

The only thing that put a damper on our fabulous camping trip is the unpacking, cleaning and seemingly endless piles of laundry that now have to be done. EVERYTHING is dirty. Even if you never wore it. You have to wash it all.

Can you imagine having a laundry room like the one in the picture? That would be so fabulous! I would be so efficient. What a dream...

In all of the chaos of unpacking, cleaning and trying to get ready for another week - I totally forgot to weigh in Monday morning. Oops! I will weigh in this next Monday... I promise. It's probably better... not sure that s'mores are on any weight loss plan!

I love my...

Counselor! I love her! Seriously...she gets me! I understand... she gets paid lots of money to appear as though she gets everyone...but really, I think she genuinely understands. I LOVE that she is a strong, healthy woman, who has kids, has a hubby, loves God. I love that she spends time working with other women who are struggling with food and weight and exercise. I love that she has raised her kids and knows how hard it is to raise mine.

I have been seeing Gina for several months now. In the beginning, the diagnosis was grave and heavy. It scared me and made me tired. We have had some big sessions the last few times and I (we) feel like I have made some amazing progress. My BFF even noticed how happy I am when I leave one of my appointments.

It is so refreshing to have someone to talk to. Don't get me wrong... I have AMAZING friends, but there is something about the absolute safety of talking to someone who isn't going to come hang out with your family over the weekend. I am grateful for the opportunity to talk to her. I am grateful that I have fabulous insurance that helps me be able to afford to talk to her.

Tomorrow, I am seeing my doctor - the one who referred me to Gina. I am excited for her to see the changes I have made - the ways I have grown. I think she will be thrilled.

I feel happy.

I feel healthy.

I LOVE THIS!

I haven't felt all of those things at once since...well - maybe never. My mood matches the sunshine we are finally seeing in Seattle.

My family and I are going on our first camping trip of the season to Lake Chelan. I have such great memories of Chelan. I hope you all have a great weekend...See you Monday!