It's a scene depicted in movies, TV shows and books. The angel and the devil - pulling the poor, confused person upon whose shoulders they reside - back and forth, back and forth. The unsuspecting human shouldering these bickering figments of their imagination - knows that the angel is right - but the devil has such influence.
Welcome to my world.
I am sure I am not alone - but when the proverbial devil is winning, it sure does feel lonely. Here was the conversation this morning:
Devil: Why are you even trying to run 10 miles? You can't do that...
Angel: of course you can do that - you ran 7.6 last weekend.
Devil: Whatever - 10 miles is way further, and what are you wearing? YOU can't wear spandex running pants.!
Angel: Of course you can wear those - that's what runners wear. Just think - a year ago those pants wouldn't have even fit you.
Guess who won?
These two fought the whole way to the track. It starts to make me feel crazy. Like the inside of my head is filled with 14 conversations, and everyone is talking at once and everyone is yelling, and I can't actually tell whose voice I really want to hear. Eventually, the devil ends up yelling the loudest.Even though I know - deep down that he is wrong - this devil of mine has lived on my shoulder for a really long time now; alot longer than the angel has. It's so much easier to just default to what the devil has to say to me. I have believed the devils words for so much longer. Plus isn't is always a little easier to believe the bad stuff than the good.
I guess I should feel encouraged. I am pretty sure I haven't been aware of my angel until recently. I am glad she is there. I hope I can start listening to her more. The other one is such a b*@#h!
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You're definately NOT alone! I seem to face this all the time, but a lot lately. I've been on a little journey to intentionally listen to the angel. No matter what. It's hard, but will be worth it in the end!
ReplyDeleteYou make me smile, thanks for keeping it real!
ReplyDeleteMikal
Sweet. My stepmom calls this Monkey Mind. The flying Monkey from Oz... come and distract you when you are on the verge of doing good things for yourself...the louder you hear them the more you know you are on the right track. Way to go...on the 7.6 miles... I cant run a city block...seriously.
ReplyDeleteYay for your angel! Your devil is a BIG STINKIN' LIAR..........
ReplyDeleteYOU. CAN. DO. IT.
ReplyDeleteI believe in you and your abilities as a NEW creation in Christ! Even with a broken foot and big hurkin' boot.
xoxo
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