Okay...it's time to 'fess up. I have officially stalled out on my weight loss. A couple of major things have happened the last couple of months to cause the stall out. I have hesitated to write about this because I am not entirely thrilled with how I handled the first of the two situations. I have decided though - that moving forward, I am going to step up my transparency and share more details going forward. I will explain more about this later. For now - here is the scoop.
Remember that super fun, super relaxing family trip to Great Wolf Lodge back in March? Yeah... not so much. 1 hour into our stay - my back went out rendering me unable to do anything other than sit around. No water slides for me. I was miserable. I couldn't walk or stand up straight. Every time I moved the muscles in my back would spasm. I was so bummed out about missing the fun time with my hubby and kids.
When we got home, my attitude only got worse. I was so depressed - and as I used to, I turned to food to make me feel better. I ate and ate and ate...it was awful. After a few days of eating everything in sight, I felt so guilty that I stopped eating entirely. Not good. My back took the better part of a couple of weeks to heal, and here I am almost two months later - wishing I had handled myself better.
I eased back into exercise and training for my half and full marathons, and on April 11th I ran in a 12K to see if I had lost any ground.
I was thrilled with my race (as you probably read) and I spent the next couple of days excited about where I was at. Until...my left foot started to hurt. It hurt pretty bad - but I have this ridiculous pain tolerance, so I went about my normal routine all week including a 10 mile training run on Sunday. My foot hurt the first part of the run - but eventually it went numb, I got into my running zone and I felt great. That is until I stopped running...then my foot swelled up so much I thought it was going to explode out of my shoe. I sat in my sisters car and wept.
I was thrilled with my race (as you probably read) and I spent the next couple of days excited about where I was at. Until...my left foot started to hurt. It hurt pretty bad - but I have this ridiculous pain tolerance, so I went about my normal routine all week including a 10 mile training run on Sunday. My foot hurt the first part of the run - but eventually it went numb, I got into my running zone and I felt great. That is until I stopped running...then my foot swelled up so much I thought it was going to explode out of my shoe. I sat in my sisters car and wept.Kara offered to take me to urgent care - but because I am super smart - I chose to go home and ice it instead. I knew something was wrong when I got up in the middle of the night to go potty - and I fell because my foot wouldn't hold me. Grudgingly, I went to the doctor the next morning and wouldn't you know it? Broken! SERIOUSLY???
So here I am, the second month in a row with an injury that changes everything. My rescheduled half marathon has to be rescheduled again, and the full marathon seems totally unrealistic. It's hard though, because I was so focused on that goal for so long. I have worked so hard and I really wanted that accomplishment for myself.
I am happy to say - that my attitude during this injury has been the complete opposite of when I hurt my back. I am trying hard to remain positive and focused. I can still make progress if I make the right choices. Depression is such an easy place for me to visit - I just don't want to do that again. The story is much cooler with a positive outlook. I want my story to be inspiring, and happy - and while there will always be tough moments, I want those tough moments to teach me - not set the tone for my life. I can't control the healing process of my foot - but I can control my attitude and how I handle it.
This is my story to write.
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You're right, attitude and outlook are everything. Keep those things positive and you can accomplish anything. Archimedes said, "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world." The lever is your attitude and the fulcrum is your outlook. Align those two and you'll make the most of your life. Your marathon dream is not out of the picture, may be delayed, but attainable. Let's see how your foot heals.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it!!! Great job on the attitude...you are completely right about it...don't count that marathon out for yourself ~ it will happen I am sure when you are healed
ReplyDeleteJetta,
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for not letting this foot injury get to you. Depression is so hard not to slip back into. I don't know if you know this about yourself, but you are a true athlete now. With that comes the responsibility of listening to your body. When your body starts to hurt you have to start listening to it. Even though you have a high tolerance for pain, you still feel them and instead of ignoring them you need to start listening. Your foot injury is a perfect example. It's a hard lesson to learn, because now your foot is broken. When your foot started hurting you should of taken a break and let it get better. We all do it, I am just as guilty. I was having pains in my food and I just brushed it off as my planter factious acting up. When I finally dragged my butt into the doctor I found out that I actually tore it and I had to be in a boot and crutches. I had to wear that stupid boot for 4 months. My doctor is a marathon runner and after getting a beating from him about listening to my body I have learned my lesson. Not making your goal is a bummer not at the same time no big deal, because there are so many races to do. My best friend is iron man racer and she says to me over and over again that we are torturing our bodies to do these runs, swims, and bike rides and we need to reward our bodies by giving it a break, getting a massage, or taking a hot bath. We expect so much from it and we need to recognize the signs it gives us that it needs something back.
Well said mama. Sometimes all we have is our response. Naybe the real training for impulse control starts with these larger dissapointments, then the disciplines of diet exercise, all the "natural stuff" are second nature... your reflex to be open is a very healthy one! Sorry none the less... for your foot.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE what Carrie wrote ... and totally agree. Start listening to your body and just knock off the tough girl stuff sometimes so you can rest, girl!! You WILL run the half and full marathons and you WILL finish this race.
ReplyDeleteLove you,
A
I first off want to say I am going back to read the rest of the post but what stopped me in my tracks girl..Great Wolf Lodge? ummmmmmm..if it is the same place I'm thinking, that is only 20 minutes away!!!! You were 20 minutes away from me Jetta! I got me goose bumps.
ReplyDeleteI can control my attitude and how I handle it.
ReplyDeleteamen girl.
The ironic thing now as I read this was that I had FINALLY started to work out. Loving it, getting into the zone, than WHAM...huge pain in my shoulder. Working itself down to finally my pointer finger (leaving it numb for months). I was told I had pinched a nerve in my neck. So all that working out stopped. sigh. I haven't been back to the gym since January. All I kept thinking about for awhile was if I had stayed working out, I would be at my goal weight and TOTALLY jacked, toned and oh ya, super woman! lol. I would be toned, that is a definite because the month that I was working out I noticed a HUGE difference.
I was planning on starting to run too.
The pain I was experiencing caused me to eat also. Like eating would take the pain away? So depression set in, with the pain and more eating.
Thank you for your transparency. I LOVE when others share from their heart like this.
Oh my gosh! A broken foot! How on earth did it happen. Was it from running?
ReplyDeleteI loved running but after twisting my knee two years ago on the treadmill I realized perhaps it's not the sport for me. It still bothers me to this day. I really think running is hard on our body, although I loved it so much. It made me feel superior to my fellow humans that could "only" walk. Perhaps God's way of humbling me. :)
Hope it's better now, but you said two months of healing so suspect it's still hurting you. So sorry. Take care!
I think it just isn't the right timing and that is what this set back is about. It's very possible that you aren't in the place you need to be to truly embrace the impact that running a full marathon will have on your life. You will run the marathon when the time is right and you can fully accept the fact that you are strong and brave and accomplished. Your time is coming.
ReplyDelete