Friday, June 11, 2010

I feel like...



A fake.

A phony.

A liar.

A broken record.

Okay. I think I am being a little harsh on myself. I do, REALLY feel like a broken record. I want to write a inspirational, fist pumping, cheerleading post about getting hard core and getting this done. But I just wrote that post a couple weeks ago. Remember??? It resulted in me being transparent and posting my weight each Monday - which lasted oh...about 5 minutes.

I am having the hardest time. I gripe about this plateau that I am stuck in - and I am so ready to blame anyone and everything...except myself. My lack of weight loss is such a mystery... NOT! Here is what I realized:

I am not doing the work.

Here's how I discovered that. Thursday night - Chad and I were going to play racquetball, but we both got caught in horrible traffic so we missed our court time. My revised plan, was to get the kids packed for the beach cabin and then head to the gym after they went to bed. I used to be so good at this scenario - but last night - after the kids were in bed, I put on my pj's not my workout clothes...I think you get the drift.

As far as I can tell, at some point, my brain shifted into maintenance mode, but my body isn't there yet. I still work out and eat right - but my determination is gone. I started to wonder if maybe I am happy with how I look now. If maybe I don't want to lose any more weight. I spent our camping weekend pondering this. The answer I came up with??

No. I am not finished. Since I am not finished, I do need to do the work. These last 20 pounds are going to be the hardest to lose, but I will lose them.

If I start now and get "hardcore" I will be finished fast (relatively speaking) and I can live in this happy maintenance land that I have been visiting for the past several weeks.

It's time to get this done. I want to finish. I am not a quitter. I am however, a broken record. Sorry bout that....

5 comments:

  1. Your going to do this!!! You are so brave to write about the hard and not just the easy. Truth be told these posts are just as inspirational as the "cheerleader" ones.

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  2. You are fearless and able...

    Praying for endurance and resolve... xo.

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  3. Don't be so hard on yourself...you have accomplished a great thing already...and it is so so hard. Rest is a good thing... just don't stay there...I am in the same place...I've let up...but let's get up and get going:)...in HIS strength!
    Rene

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  4. No. I am not finished. Since I am not finished, I do need to do the work. These last 20 pounds are going to be the hardest to lose, but I will lose them.

    amen amen amen !!!!sigh...ok,,have you been in my brain!

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