Just what I needed. (A letter from Carrie)

My dear friend,

I was reading one of your blogs about how you don't always feel strong and you used food to feel better. I know that food is an addiction for you and it will always be a struggle for you. I have to say after I read that blog I felt so sad.
I know when you look in the mirror you still see the "fat girl" and that you don't see the skinny Jetta and I truly understand what your saying. I wish you would see how amazingly beautiful you are in the inside too. I know that everyone wants to be pretty, but it's more than that for me, your friends, and of course Chad. We all know the beautiful, loving, funny Jetta. For me, I love the love you give to me unconditionally. You are such an inspiration to me. You are so strong and have so much determination.
I know that you are hard on yourself, and that have days where you struggle, but you have to fall and fail to become stronger and that's not a negative thing. I know it's hard to see that when your struggling, but putting yourself down is not acceptable anymore. At the end of the day you say to yourself, "Ok, I made some poor choices, but it's done and I can't change the past. I am going to dust myself off and start again." I feel like your spending too much time feeling sad than happy. You have done something alot of people can't do. You have lost 96 pounds and you just signed up for your first marathon. On those bad days you need to say to myself." I am not going to let this ruin my day, I am strong and I can do it!"I think that when you are having a bad day or struggling with yourself, you have to remember how much inner strength you really have. We all know you have it, YOU just need to remind yourself. When I am having a bad day or struggling I say to myself " Is this really worth my time and energy?" My answer is always the same. It took me a long time to learn to just let things go and walk away from it, but I am good at it now and I know you can do it.

Love,

Carrie

My response:

I love you... and you are right. Yesterdays blog titled 'I love my friends..." is my committment to do just what you are saying - and is giving you guys persmission to tell me exactly what you just said.
I am tired of my own pity party - so I am putting an end to it. I do want to be happy. I want to enjoy life, my family, my kids and this body and health I have worked hard for.

You are right. I have lost 96 pounds - which is amazing and I will run a marathon which is amazing. So many people give up and I didn't. That is amazing.