Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Wedding

3 days away! Time went so fast. We have prayed for a man for my sister in law for a long time. This is such an exciting time. I realize that this day is all about Shannon. I love that for her. She is going to be gorgeous. Stunning really. The wedding will be phenomenal. My sister in law has such amazing taste, and my mother in law is so classy and really knows how to throw a party.

Privately, in my heart, this day is big for me too. Shannon wasn't engaged yet when I originally started my weight loss mission. The wedding wasn't my motivation. I am thankful for that. I am thankful because since my mission started several months earlier, I was able to make more progress. Also, I am thankful because I learned so much about myself, about diet and exercise. I learned that along the way, I need a bunch of mini goals to help motivate me. This wedding was perfect. The timing was absolutely perfect!

This day is big for me because it represents so many things I just don't do.

I don't wear anything that shows my arms. My arms are my least favorite part of my body. Even in the summer, I will chose a shirt with sleeves, no matter how hot it is. This is different. I had a choice and I purposefully picked a dress that shows my arms. In fact, I even ordered my dress in a size smaller than they recommended because I was determined to get to that size.

I don't wear high heels. I have never been able to walk in those dang things. I think they are gorgeous, and I wish I could wear them, but I just can't.

Here is the doozie though - the real reason the wedding is such a big day to me. I am nearing my goal. My original goal was to lose 110 pounds. I have lost 93. I feel a little excited and anxious at the thought of putting on a fancy dress, getting my hair, nails and make-up done and wearing high heels. I know that really the attention will be on Shannon, but to go through everything I have in the last 15months, and be this close to finishing feels amazing!
I have never finished anything I started, so this matters to me. To know that what I have accomplished will make it so Shannon and Ben, and the rest of our family, can look at the wedding photos and not see a fat girl, matters to me. THIS MATTERS TO ME!

There aren't really many people who will be there on Saturday who understand, or even know how nervous I am. This isn't something I have shared until now. I am not sure that even Chad realizes what a big deal this is to me. They are all there for Shannon. I am there for Shannon. The attention should remain on Shannon.

This victory is my own. Only I really know how hard I worked to get to this place.


  1. I am there for the dancing.

    just kidding!

    I'm so happy for you!! truly happy! You're going to feel beautiful!

    I picked a large zit and have a HUGE scab on my face. I knew that was going to happen and I picked anyways. I'm such a dork! AND the zit is still there. So what was a tiny pin prick of a zit is now a large scab. Everyone will look at how beautiful YOU are and wonder what that large monstrosity is on my face!!

  2. I bet there is a certain someone who will be admiring the beauty that is his wife and he will not only be beaming with pride for his sister but also for you and how far you have come on your journey.
    Congratulations! I hope you are going to do something big for yourself once you reach 110!

    Stop picking! :-)

  3. Congratulations! That is such a big deal, and such a victory, and it's so good to see that you are reaching your goals (by that I mean the general "you", you know?)! It helps so much when that happens.
    Good for you!